CHAPTER 4 : The Hills Have Eyes !

It was a slightly less porn-star-looking Vaganza who materialised on the edge of the mighty Lake Tahoe - just over from a pile of ugly dirt, and a stone's throw away from a pile of ... well ... stones. Having purged his initial ill-fated character, Brenno decided to do some background research amongst the many scrolls and texts that the great oracles 'Google' and 'DuckDuckGo' had provided him. While he still had the moustache of one who 'cleans ze pool', he was now equipped with a fishing rod, pick, pants, shirt and hill troll tattooed scrotum bag.

His stats had still been thrown together with all the finesse of a retarded monkey peeling a football, but his spirits were high, and he was ready.

Ready for anything.

Except what happened next.

'If in doubt, head south!' It was the last thing his gradfather had told him on his death bed. The fact that Grandpa had been as senile as a pigeon was beside the point. In the world of Xsyon, where everything is out to kill you, sometimes the words of our forefathers are the only things that stand between us and certain demise.

So Brenno hitched up his pants, adjusted his scrotum, and headed south.

It wasn't long - well it was, because he ran really, really slow - before Brenno encountered his first native wildlife. A hamster had wandered onto the path. It stood smaller than a goblin's dog, was fatter than a sack of mucus, and looked bloody delicious.

To the uninitiated, hamsters are cute. They are cuddly. They are furry, smelly, insanely promiscuous - but otherwise safe, and mostly edible. Brenno, having weighed up all this information, decided to approach. While not a killer by choice, he knew that survival in a post- apocalyptic world would call upon his most basic instincts to maim, kill, eat and poop. And it was a hamster, right? What could possibly go wrong???