View Full Version : The Crazy Grass Hermit

05-19-2011, 03:57 PM

In the cold dark rain a frail old withered body rose. Face splashed with drops of water as his eyes pried open to catch his surroundings. With small initial movements and aching joints he came to his knees first with a *Snap, Crackle, Pop* of his hinges.

His grey beard and stash soaked, fingers wrinkled as he stumbled down the slopes and descended upon round hill, where he there hunkered over an open campfire. Then smiling with a crooked teeth grin he looked over round hill and his grin grew even larger as he viewed the shimmer over the moon on the lake surface.

Part 1: One Million Apocalyptic Squirrels (http://www.xsyon.com/forum/showthread.php/6885-The-Crazy-Grass-Hermit?p=82480&viewfull=1#post82480)
Part 2: This... Is... Barter Town!!! (http://www.xsyon.com/forum/showthread.php/6885-The-Crazy-Grass-Hermit?p=82995&viewfull=1#post82995)
Part 3: Explosive Events (http://www.xsyon.com/forum/showthread.php/6885-The-Crazy-Grass-Hermit?p=83126&viewfull=1#post83126)
Part 4: Totem Trouble (http://www.xsyon.com/forum/showthread.php/6885-The-Crazy-Grass-Hermit?p=83375&viewfull=1#post83375)

05-20-2011, 02:03 PM
I have recklessly-- and possibly contrary to my own best interests-- subscribed to this thread. ;)

05-21-2011, 06:16 AM
Day 1 - One Million Apocalyptic Squirrels

As the hermit crossed the expansive grass field whistling carelessly, his foot with a sudden snag caused his untimely collapse. Upon falling and his chin hitting the dirt with ample force he saw a terrifying sight... 1 million "apocalyptic squirrels"! Ravenous beast of the rolling planes around Glendale, known to chew off the ankles of their victims in their sleep.

With momentary fear of the... 1 million "apocalyptic squirrels" the hermit quickly adjusted his eyes and prepared for the fight, upon adjustment 1,000,000 became one. Now that the odds had increased in the hermits favor he smiled gleefully as the small rodent chattered angrily bearing its rotten fangs.

Quickly with a heavy stack of grass he whacked at the small creature fearlessly as it attempted to bite at him... jumping and darting around the small beast, afraid he may lose a toe or two. Then as the squirrel became exhausted no match for the speed of the lanky hermit, the final blow fell. The grass straw squished the innards of the tiny squirrel and victory was achieved at last.

As the hermit skinned the corpse of the small furry creature, he prided himself on his execution of revenge for all the ankles the squirrel had probably chewed...

05-26-2011, 07:02 AM
Day 3 - This... Is... Barter Town!!!

Following the path through Glendale the hermit gazed upon a wonderful site... the most beautiful, a huge pile of scrap! There before his eyes was the the mother load and on top of it rested a walled structure. Without delay the hermit raced down the path... skipped hopped and splashed across the North Glendale River and... up the hill. Where a man stood at its top, tall and broad shouldered, face concealed by the shadow cast by the brim of his ranchers hat.

"Name is Bale, Freon_Bale... Mayor of Barter Town, now who are you hut head?" the man said in a stern tone to the hermit... without saying a word the hermit gave Freon a few blades of grass and picked up a few loose nuts and bolts from the pile...

"Ah, so you are a scavenger, well... Welcome to Barter Town, just stay out of trouble..." He stated with a chuckle before vanishing behind the metal walls.

The hermits eyes lit up, much like a child in a candy store, grabbing random bits of leather and steel, pipes and trinkets the loud clattering filled the air... As he continued he piled higher and higher, heaps of random things, shiny things, and soft things, throwing them into random grass buckets he had woven. Before long Freon reappeared with a look of annoyance on his face.

"Now you can't be movin in on top of the scavenge pile ya hut head, you gotta find a home to take yer junk back to." giving a face of disapproval towards the dozens and dozens of grass baskets the hermit had piled nearly waste high.

So with his new collection the grass hermit and his 37 +1 grass buckets set out on a new adventure... for a home.

05-26-2011, 07:13 AM
Ha! Good stuff, keep 'em coming m8

05-26-2011, 11:41 AM
Nice RP, keep it up. Looking for more.

05-26-2011, 06:03 PM
Fun to see people rping and posting stories. I used to do that in another mmo for a little while.

Except every time i see this thread out of the corner of my eye, i read 'the crazy ass hermit'.

05-27-2011, 09:06 AM
Thank you everyone for the kind comments!

05-28-2011, 05:13 AM
Day 7 - Explosive Events

As the hermit and his 37 +1 buckets crossed the North Glendale River, he trudged up the shore tired and exhausted. As he rested on the beach he found 8 strange pillars in a circle. After regaining his energy he started to explore the tall pillars. Nodding to his buckets he smiled happily and began collecting stacks upon stacks, upon stacks of grass...

As the hours went on he had acquired hundreds and hundreds of piles for his new buckets, and a grass hut. A big gleam of pride dawned on the hermits face as he looked at his monumental achievement. However without warning something from the distance brewed, a giant cloud, billowing from the junk pile of Barter Town. Within seconds a shock wave blew down the hill, across the grassy plains and bellowed down upon the hermit and his grass piles.

Knocked off his feet he watched strands and bundles of his grass piles soaring into the sky, stringing across the fields, several hours work erased in a matter of only second. A fowl tempered scowl appeared on the hermits dirty mug. As if this wasn't enough to disturb the hermit as he surveyed the smoke he smelled a burning in the air, but it wasn't from the puffy shroom, but the BUCKETS!!!!

In a crazy panic the hermit scrambled about stomping and dancing on the fire engulfing his long loved 37 +1 buckets... yelping and paddling... flailing about like a fish out of water all his efforts but were in vain as 37 + 1 buckets were now 17 half buckets and 1/3rd. With a saddened face the hermit clutched his charred grass buckets.

After their burial he set out to the hill of barter town... Upon climbing he found a group of men chuckling, laughing and drinking what smelled equivalent to lamp fuel. All of them paused for a second and stared at the odd grass hermit. Then busted out in laughs at the smoke covered and singed grass man. It was at this time that a normally care free bucket loving grass dweller snapped...

Rushing towards the group of husky merc's he leaped into the air only to be caught by the seat of his pants... snagged he flung and flailed once again in a nearly comic manner to the group.

"Now calm down hut head!!!" a familiar voice stated as he held the hermit at bay.

After the flailing of the hermit had stopped, Freon let down the hermit... "So what has your little grass panties in a twist there old man." with a brooding face the hermit explained his story in a theatrical fashion of extreme expression, movements and hand signals.

"Ah, bwhahahah... hahaha..." the group laughed in unison as some took swigs of their Junk Brew...

"I tell you what hermit, since I messed up your buckets and, trashed your new pad, you can have whats left of Barter Town since you are so fond of the place. Hell you can even be the mayor!" stated Freon. Then after a minute of grimace the hermit smiled once again.. stroking his scraggly gotee in thought. Shaking Freon's hand the hermit stood tall and proud as he was now the new mayor of Barter Town, population 1.

05-30-2011, 01:45 PM
Day 11 - Totem Troubles

and on the 8th day hermit built the dirt walls.. and he saw that the walls were good. The hermit was pleased.

and on the 9th day hermit built the ditches.. and he saw that the ditches were good, and two by two all the animals of the zone fell into the ditches, died and left their bones, and the hermit was pleased.

and on the 10th day there was much rejoicing as the novice scavengers brought the branches which finished the walls. And so on the 10th day the scavengers were fed by the fishing hermit and there was much rest in barter town. The hermit was pleased.

and on the 11th day hermit looked over the lands and said... we must make room for more survivors of the mist. and so he consulted with his fellow scavengers and upon mumbles they gave instruction on how to set a larger totem... and so the hermit tested the knowledge of his friends and the totem was FAIL!!! The hermit was not pleased... no, the hermit became angry.

and thus he consulted the demi gods ( guides ) and there the sky clapped with thunder giving guidance to the hermit... but he knew the demi gods to only be half right, half of the time, and so he consulted the gods and there the sky clapped with thunder again giving guidance to the hermit... but the instructions were different.

and thus the hermits neighbor masika tested the guidance of the gods.. and the totem was FAIL!!! and so... the hermit consulted the wise scavenger Drevar who gave him guidance. With this new knowledge the hermit chose a simple path of the land for one man.

and thus this time the totem did not fail. and once again two by two all the animals of the zone fell into the ditches, died and left their bones, and the hermit was pleased.

03-07-2012, 10:50 PM
Day 246 - Awakening of The Hermit

After the long Xsyon winter the snow began to melt and the hermit awoke to an empty Barter Town. All the items had been left, but everyone had migrated South to another more tolerable zone. After a few hours of playing with his beloved buckets, petting them on their lids reassuring them they would all be ok. As he looks on into the distance something strange appeared, something he hadn't seen before the last winter, an animal with a large rump and circular rotating legs!

Sneaking up closer the animal was chasing a man, and had nearly caught him right between the tusk. Seeing the dire situation the Hermit raced down the hill and jumped it with all his might. Knocking it over its guts spilling all over the ground. The man who was being chased now jumping up and down with excitement grabbed the hermit by the throat to give him a hug.

Man: You... YOU!... Idiot!
The hermit looked back at him with a look of confusion. Pointing to the animal and raising his arms tried to explain his deed of slaying the giant monster. The man looked back down at the hermit in disgust.

Man: Are you serious, you crazy old man. That is my cart! That is my stuff! You act like you have been living under a basket or rock all these years.
The hermit simply grinned at the mention of baskets... running back up the hill he grabbed his little collection and hurried back down. Showing them off one by one like a proud father.

Man: Wait you live here all by yourself?
The hermit nodded, and gave the man a sad look.

Man: Here gather your stuff up, put it in the cart and you can come with me...