All good points.
Couple of things to add/change.
1) If you make the death timer longer, you should give the option to tab out after 30s. So you can wait up to 2 mins for a rez, or you can tap out after 30seconds wait time. This will allow people not to have to shit through faceplant view for 2 mins when they know they wont be rez'd. Darkfall does this.
2) I think there should also be a "deathblow" or "gank" or "finisher" move where not only do you kill the person (puts them on the ground) but you would also have to do another action that can be interrupted to kill them off. Killing them off would then either force them to get rez'd by something or send them back to the totem. If you are not "finished off" you can pop back up after 30s with 1HP again. This will allow teamwork. Again other games do this. Also this will allow duels to happen without sending to the totem all the time.
3) I think items should decay on deathport. Meaning if you die, ALL the items on you (even items in your inventory) take a 20% dura, and 10% QL loss on decay. This will help prevent deathporting all the time.
4) Healing needs to have more ways to be done other than just the slow painful way of the not moving. Herbs, bandages, potions, magic, clothing etc. Also rezing someone should have chance to fail based on how bad they died.
As the OP said, this is for able to play with other people, the upto 40mins travel time to get back to your friends can be harsh.