you're getting into seige mechanics...where it would be nice to be able enter into different types of seiges....the more drastic the potential outcome is, the costlier it is for the attacker...ie.
raid totem. Drop a raid seige totem. allows you to damage walls (no other structures), and prevents any bin/storage device from being locked (by the defender)...you break in, take some stuff and leave...a 'friendly' seige...and the cheapest.
Pillage totem. same as raid, except also allows you to destroy buildings. still just a 'message' tho, as you are not attacking the totem.
Capture totem. Same as pillage, except it is a fight where the attacker will capture the opponents tribal area if they win.
Destruction totem. allows total destruction of tribal area, including the defending totem. mOst expensive.